3 Ways To Negotiate Condom Use With Your Partner

 
Gold circle Flex is a new ribbed and flavored condom brand marketed by Society for Family Health (SFH).
The Gold Circle Flex team have some facts about sex and condom use that they will share in a series of articles in the next few weeks. You can visit the Gold Circle Flex Facebook Page and tweet at @goldcircleflex for more information. Or send any requests or inquiries to goldcircleflex@sfhnigeria.org.
We have available in this generation, more avenues and gadgets with which to communicate than ever before. But studies have shown that; in families, the work place, communities and at virtually every level we are interacting and communicating less and less.

This fact is most obvious in romantic relationships. Men and women just do not appear to be talking to each other especially about important relationship issues. Communication, especially about sex and sexual health, can be understandably awkward and difficult. Discussing and practicing safe health however, is integral to any relationship both for birth control purposes and also for protection from Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs).

Condoms are still the most popular and easily available means for practicing safe sex. They are; an effective barrier with 98% effectiveness in preventing unplanned pregnancies and STIs, the most easily reversible method of birth control and have no hormonal side effects. A number of people are however reluctant to use condoms. Some common excuses to avoid using condoms are; I don’t have any infections, you do not trust me, it spoils the mood, we already use another type of contraceptive, If you love me you wouldn’t insist on a condom.

Encouraging your partner to use a condom can appear daunting.
Negotiating condom use in a relationship, for both men and women, is one of those areas where it is often not so much about the idea but more about how you present the idea. In negotiating condom use, there are several strategies that could be used;

• Benefits: This strategy involves explaining the benefits of using condoms to your partner. While this is a logical approach, it has had low success rates in most cases. Perhaps because sex is mostly a spontaneous, emotional exchange not particularly susceptible to logic.

• Eroticism: For this approach condoms are incorporated into sex as an erotic and exciting activity.

• Refusal: One partner simply refuses to have sex if a condom is not used. This strategy can often create resentment from the partner who is being refused sex on the basis of condom use.

Some General Misconceptions/myths about condom Use.

A condom is a mechanical barrier that prevents sexually transmitted infections(such as HIV) and pregnancy by stopping the exchange of body fluids during sexual intercourse.

Condoms have been around for thousands of years – early Egyptians, Greeks and Romans used condoms to prevent pregnancy, using animal intestine or bladder. And modern condoms have been available for more than 100 years.

Despite the widely known uses of condoms and its benefits, Their still exist some general misconceptions/myths about condom use.

Some of the myths and facts about condom use can be seen below:

MYTH: It’s safer if you use two condoms.
FACT: No it isn’t. Using two condoms at once is a really bad idea, whether it’s two male condoms or a male and female condom. the chances of them It increases tearing apart. Only use one condom at a time.

MYTH: Condoms break easily.
FACT: No they don’t. To avoid a condom breaking, you need to put it on carefully, ensuring there’s no air bubble at the end. Be careful of sharp fingernails, jewelry, or teeth. If the condom won’t roll down, it’s on the wrong way. Throw this condom away and start again with a new one, as there could be semen on the tip of the previous condom.

If a condom breaks and you’re not using any other contraception, go to a clinic, pharmacist or doctor as soon as possible and ask about emergency contraception. You’ll also need to get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

MYTH: You need extra lube. Vaseline is good.
FACT: No it’s not. A bit of extra lubrication is good but don’t use anything with oil in it as it can dissolve the condom – that includes baby oil, Vaseline and hand cream. If you must use additional lubricant Use a water-based lubricant like “Lubrica” or silicone based lubrication. Most  condoms are pre-lubricated for enhanced pleasure.

MYTH:Lubricated(Oiled ) Condoms gives infections.

FACT:The oil(Lubricant) found in most condoms functions to reduce  friction during sex and helps avoid condom breakages.

MYTH: Condom can be washed and Re-Used

FACT:Not True, both male and female condoms can only be used once, washing of condoms will lead to wear and tear, which will compromise the intergrity of the condom rendering them less effective in preventing STIs/HIV and pregnancy. “SINGLE USE ONLY”

MYTH: Sex with Condoms is less Enjoyed
FACT: Using a condom doesn’t have to spoil the moment. Condom use can make some men last longer before they come, which is good news for both of you. Condom use also makes sexual intercourse more enjoyable for both partners because of less fear of contacting STIs, HIV and unplanned Pregnancy.

HOW TO USE FEMALE CONDOMS

Reports from the national  Demographic health survey (NDHS) indicates that only about 28.6 % of Nigerian women know about female condoms while less than  0.5 % Nigerian women actually use female condoms.

As a peer educator with Society for Family Health(SFH) and currently  a community facilitator in implementing the USAIDs sponsored Strengthening HIV Prevention Services for Most-at-Risk Population(SHiPS for MARPs) project in Nigeria , I have noticed more worrisome the high Percentage of Female sex workers (FSWs) without adequate knowledge of Female Condoms.

When more women have proper information on female condoms they stand a better chance of making healthy sexual decisions, preventing unwanted pregnancies, HIV and STIs.

Below are steps on how to use female condoms & benefits of female condom use.

Steps on How to use Female Condoms.

1.    Before opening your FEMALE CONDOM:’

• Check the expiry date which is stamped on the front or on the side of the FEMALE CONDOM packet.

• Spread the lubrication inside around by rubbing the packet with your hands

         

2.    To open the packet, tear straight down from the arrow at the top and remove the condom.

• Do not use scissors, a knife or your teeth to open the packet

.

3.    hold the inner ring between your thumb and forefinger. Then squeeze the sides of the inner ring together to form a point.

4.    You can insert FEMALE CONDOM in lots of different ways. Find a position that is comfortable. This may be standing, sitting, squatting or lying down.

5.    Feel for the outer lips of your vagina and spread them.

6.    Use the squeezed inner ring to push FEMALE CONDOM into your vagina. Slide your index finger or middle finger inside the condom and push it in your vagina as far as possible, using the inner ring. Make sure the condom is not twisted and lies smoothly against your vaginal wall.

7.    A small part of the condom, including the outer ring, stays outside your body and lies over the lips of your vagina, partially protecting your external sex organs and covering the base of your partner’s penis.

8.     FEMALE CONDOM lines the inside of your vagina and covers your cervix. The opening of your cervix is so small that it is impossible for FEMALE CONDOM to pass through this space.

9.     Hold the outer ring in place as your partner guides his penis inside the condom. Once his penis is inside the condom, you do not have to continue holding the outer ring. For extra pleasure you may ant to add more lubricant either on the inside or outside of FEMALE CONDOM or directly onto your partner’s penis once the condom is inserted.

10.                       N/B: Your partner needs to immediately withdraw his penis if:• His penis enters between the condom and the vagina wall. In this case you should put the outer ring back in position before he slides his penis back inside the condom.• The outer ring has been pushed into your vagina. In this case you should use a new FEMALE CONDOM.

11.                       To take FEMALE CONDOM out, hold the outer ring and twist it to keep the semen inside. It’s best to do this before standing up. Gently pull the condom out, wrap it in a tissue or the empty packet, and throw it in a rubbish bin.

https://youtu.be/rpIHygztRZE

Video illustration on female condom use

ADVANTAGES OF FEMALE CONDOM

THREE CORE ESSENTIAL PUBLIC HEALTH FUNCTIONS

Assessment

•  Monitor health status to identify community health problems 
•  Diagnose and investigate health problems and health hazards in the community 
•  Evaluate effectiveness, accessibility, and quality of personal and population-based health services

Policy Development 

•   Develop policies and plans that support individual and community health efforts 
•  Enforce laws and regulations that protect health and ensure safety. 
•  Research for new insights and innovative solutions to health problems

Assurance

•  Link people to needed personal health services and assure the provision of health care when otherwise unavailable 
•  Assure a competent public health and personal health care workforce 
• Inform, educate, and empower people about health issues 
• Mobilize community partnerships to identify and solve health problems

WHAT IS PUBLIC HEALTH?

   “Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity"

WHO Definition of Health

Public Health is the science and art of protecting and improving the health of families and communities through promotion of healthy lifestyles, research for disease and injury prevention, detection and control of infectious disease.

Public Health is generally concerned with promoting & Protecting the health of entire populations, not on individual patients or diseases.